i will never stop overusing this icon.

[heartbeats]

NAME ANY CHARACTER(s) (standard disclaimers apply: retired, active, and homeless characters are all fair game) and I will tell you about:

a) my 'stable' ship for them
b) my 'smut' ship for them
c) 'likely fandom ship' and why I agree or disagree
d) my stance on the character and relationships in general.

CHOOSE AS MANY CHARACTERS AS YOU WANT i have been dying to steal this for weeks :X

Comments

[hezul.livejournal.com]

I almost feel like asking about Hibari on a ship meme is missing the point. And yet I ask.

lalala unnecessarily epic

[heartbeats]

STABLE SHIP: Oh my god, my automatic urge is just to say "none of them" and be done with it, because it's Hibari, but - Tsuna, Dino. I don't particularly like Hibari/Tsuna in the way that most pre-timeskip doujinshi paints the pairing - I feel like with the way Tsuna and Hibari are now, their interactions can be broken down to 1. bite to death 2. get bored and move on. Tsuna is getting stronger and stronger, but pre-TYL!Hibari training he's not really enough to hold Hibari's interest for extended periods. That said, TYL!Hibari is shown to be an almost... maybe serene is the word that I'm looking for? person; I figure that was probably largely Tsuna's influence. I feel like TYL!Tsuna would be a really stabilizing, calming influence on Hibari's personality, but he would still be enough of a challenge to keep Hibari's interest. I picture this relationship as a kind of quiet, adult relationship - there could still be some passion, I guess, but it's mostly built on mutual respect. Basically, if anyone commands Hibari's respect TYL, it's Tsuna, and the way that TYL!Hibari talks about TYL!Tsuna just belies such like... almost affection? that I can't help just really adoring the possibility that this pairing holds.

Dino is a similar case. Hibari is basically a mess of violence, and for a stable relationship he would need someone to keep him in check without like... being his mom. Dino is kind of the opposite of Hibari in a lot of ways; Hibari acts like a delinquent, but most of his actions are based on a really strict personal code of responsibility and order - Dino is kind of a mature, balanced person on the surface, but secretly he's just kind of all over the place. I feel like Hibari would be a lot more prone to getting angry at Dino, but Dino would be patient enough with him to eventually get results. The real difficulty in their relationship is their teacher-student relationship; I can't imagine that Hibari particularly enjoys being in a subordinate role. I imagine them being the kind of relationship where they'd like not see each other for weeks at a time and then when they're reunited it's like falling into an old, comfortable pattern? I feel like I should caveat all of this with THE DEVELOPMENT OF THIS PAIRING WOULD BE REALLY, REALLY SLOW AND PROBABLY ACCIDENTAL ksdljfk this is secretly my favorite Hibari pairing, I could talk about it all the time, but I basically just like that Dino makes Hibari act a little closer to his age.

SMUT SHIP: Yamamoto. sdkjkf God I can't believe I said Yamamoto. Basically, all possible stable!Hibari pairings rest, in my mind, on the other person being a really solid, patient person, because a relationship with Hibari necessarily involves a lot of getting hit in the interim. Although I think it would be a fairly stable ship for what it was it's not the kind of thing I actually could ever, EVER conceptualize in canon (even if buttsex were to, you know, become canon). They don't really have anything in common, besides a deep-seated hatred of losing, so it's not like I can really see it lasting even it were to happen. That said, as far as just like... sex fic is concerned, Yamamoto is easy-going enough to take Hibari's shit for a while, but he's competitive enough that he's not going to back down to Hibari, which frankly in my mind leads to some really sexy porn. I think they'd be good for each other, but I don't think they'd have enough in common to work long-term. indesolution-wise, Azula/Hibari would never, ever have worked, but I kind of shipped it anyway.

RE: AZULA/HIBARI I MEAN

[derogatory]

god me too.

[heartbeats]

klsdjk well how could you not, they were like a more violent pinky and the brain!!

[hezul.livejournal.com]

Y-you capture so much of my thinking about Hibari that it's amazing.

And man, even if I can't see 8018 working in canon, the fanart is pretty damned sexy.

[heartbeats]

FANDOM SHIP/MY THOUGHTS: I've already given my opinion on 1827 and D18; I'd like to state that I don't like a lot of the fic for these pairings, but it's largely because they ignore how slowly developing relationships would go for Hibari. Oh, and Mukuro. Ummm, the only real way I can back this pairing (in spite of how mind-bogglingly hot it is) is rivals-in-hate, sexual tension bleeding into fighting kind of thing. The problem that I have is that I can't really picture the mechanics of it - Mukuro is more likely to use sex to control people than he is to be consumed by lust for someone, so he'd probably only try if he thought it'd give him power over Hibari, and like Hibari'd never even think of sex, he'd just keep hitting him. Hibari really, really likes fighting, but I don't really think he's the kind of person who lets sex bleed into it. So basically my problem with this pairing is that I really basically can't imagine it happening outside of like... outright Mukuro rapes Hibari, bam!! Oh, and uh... god Hibari/Ryohei. Can I just go with "no way"?

ON HIBARI AND SHIPPING: It's not that I think Hibari's asexual, because I don't; I just don't think it's at the top of his list of things that are important. The very idea of shipping Hibari, like you said, is kind of silly, because Hibari doesn't want to crowd together, or mill around like herbivores, and in fact he finds the very idea of it repulsive. I don't think that shipping Hibari is impossible, but I do think that the events leading up to this ship have to be drawn out and probably they should happen without Hibari even noticing that they're happening. TYL!Hibari is at least moderately shippable; present!Hibari... isn't really. As far as sex goes... I feel like it's the kind of thing he'd be really torn about, because Hibari doesn't like not being in control of things - and that doesn't just mean other people, he doesn't like not being in control of himself, either - so I feel like letting go and having sex would be really hard for him. When he's a little older he might become an initiator, depending on the other person, but like... when it comes to relationships, I feel like Hibari has to be written as being pursued, not pursuing, because pursuing someone else to -be with them-, not, you know... kill them... is kind of counter to Hibari's basic nature.

[glitterdemon.livejournal.com]

remus, pls!

these are all based on seventy-nine characterizations, to a large extent.

[heartbeats]

STABLE SHIP: Remus is like, Mr. Self-sabotage. There are none of these.

SMUT SHIP: Oh god, here goes nothing. SIRIUS/REMUS. Obviously this wasn't able to last because uh of Azkaban and all that, but I do feel like if they'd been together before Azkaban and Azkaban hadn't happened they probably would have stuck with it, sort of, off and on, but I can't really call it a stable ship. When it comes to the marauders, Remus tends to take any slightly mean comments a lot more personally than he should, because their opinions of him are of VITAL importance to him. And like, Sirius doesn't mean to be mean but sometimes he says stuff that just takes the wind out of Remus. That said, I do feel like this is the best possible outcome for him, because it involves the least amount of self-loathing on Remus's part - Remus and James are really good friends, but Remus thinks that he owes everything to James and so they aren't really equal, which makes for pretty hot porn but a really miserable morning-after. Remus doesn't feel like he owes Sirius anything except maybe a sock in the mouth, which evens out their relationship and makes them almost not dysfunctional. Uh Lily. Remus adores Lily, and I can kind of see where this pairing could have comes from, as he's the most likely of the marauders to have been friends with her, but like... I feel like he's always sort of viewed her in the context of James' crush on her, and so he'd pretty much never touch her - and if he did, it would be self-loathing central. Uh Peter and Remus might work but it wouldn't be stable because they are both in love with someone else. I quietly shipped Remus/Fabian for no good reason. Snape/Remus has the potential to be really hot, especially in light of how they have pretty similar senses of dark humor, but they don't really like each other particularly - any sex they had would be Remus trying to reconnect with any part of his past in which the marauders were still together and Snape just like... taking out all of his hate on Remus. Oh and Tonks. This is a sweet pairing, but not a stable one - it isn't the too old, too poor, too dangerous argument that sold me, it was how much it apparently mattered to Remus. He was aware that he was old and poor and dangerous, and it probably effected his relationship with Tonks. Oh and I still hold that after book 5 Remus basically just had a death wish.

FANDOM SHIP/MY THOUGHTS: I think I covered most of these above.

ON REMUS AND SHIPPING: Super fun, but filled with self-loathing :Db

Re: these are all based on seventy-nine characterizations, to a large extent.

[canined.livejournal.com]

I miss you and your inability to unravel basic word clues. no homo

that's okay, they were pretty damn accurate characterisations.

[glitterdemon.livejournal.com]

this makes me happy.

[derogatory]

KANDA

PAPA


HARUHI


uh im thinking can i say LITHUANIA yet?

[manydislikes]

STABLE SHIP: Um, let me think... pretty much none of them. Kanda's the kind of person who full-stop sabotages any relationship he finds himself getting into because he feels like they're slowing him down (this is especially tragic in light of how he's not very good at it. He tries to break down his relationships but he ends up protecting them anyway. IF AND ONLY IF 1. they win the war without dying 2. Lavi doesn't betray them 3. Komui doesn't kill anyone who gets within ten feet of Lenalee, I guess Lavi/Kanda and Lenalee/Kanda would both be fairly stable ships? Kanda and Lavi kind of balance each other out and Lenalee would have the sense not to put up with his bullshit, but really honestly I wouldn't wish him on her.

SMUT SHIP: All Kanda smut is horrific. Not smut, but not stable: I started writing Kanda/Allen because you told me to on a meme a few back to see if I could, and it terrifies me.

FANDOM SHIP/MY THOUGHTS: The popular ships seem to be Kanda/Lenalee, Kanda/Lavi, and Kanda/Allen; my major problem with most of these is that like... I like those three too much to inflict Kanda on them.

ON KANDA AND SHIPPING: I do it, obviously, but I feel like Kanda would be resistant to relationships for the same reason as Hibari. A lot of Kanda's character is dictated by the image he's trying to convey and the way he perceives himself, and he wants to be above relationships and sex - he's probably not, especially since I am pretty sure he wants to like marry Lenalee and have fifteen grandchildren to be crotchety at (not really; you know what I mean), but it makes him mad when people suggest he might not be, because it's like a personal attack on his image of himself. In conclusion, here, this is from me and Erin's conversation when there were aphrodisiacs in the water at id:

terrorcandy: sob yeah
terrorcandy: there's no way he'd be nice about it
terrorcandy: it'd probably be a lot like
terrorcandy: him getting mad in the middle of stuff

wither: kldjslkjg poor ravi if kanda ever figures out he's attracted even just slightly
wither: that would be WORSE
wither: i can see THAT pissing kanda off too
terrorcandy: it would make him so mad
terrorcandy: it'd be the kind of thing that he'd hold against ravi, too
terrorcandy: he'd stew over it :'(
wither: one day ravi would be innocently chattering with allen and kanda would be in the vicinity and all of a sudden he'd get ATTACKED
terrorcandy: KICK TO THE HEAD
terrorcandy: "STOP DOING THAT"
wither: random acts of violence whenever they're around each other
wither: kljfkglj ravi would be like "WHAT STOP DOIGN WHATL:Kjgj"
terrorcandy: and then he stalks off with no explanation
wither: lklkrjg so like him to HOLD IT AGAINST SOMEONE ELSE
wither: FOR HIS OWN ATTRACTION
wither: sob
wither: sobsobsob
terrorcandy: :[ :[ :[

kanda/ravi makes allen black out- same as memories of cross

[derogatory]

THIS IS UNDER THE CATEGORY OF EVERYTHING ALLEN DOESNT WANT TO KNOW

[dadscythe.livejournal.com]

STABLE SHIP: The two closest ships to stable Papa has had have ended in dissection and in divorce, respectively. None.

SMUT SHIP: I actually feel like Stein/Papa is a fairly stable ship if you ignore the fact that Stein goes crazy and kills a dude halfway through the series, and also how he likes to dissect Papa in his sleep. Either way, it's a pretty good pairing; they've known each other for long enough that even though they don't really get along they're able to coexist, they recognize each other's faults, but they're able to form a pretty stable unit together. They're both pretty nerdy and useless sometimes, but when they're being serious they balance each other out pretty well, and I feel like Papa, in spite of his personality faults, is a really warm person and is probably a good influence on Stein. Also, shut up, this pairing is really sexy. I would say Papa/Mama but who wants to read about sex with Maka's mom? Not me.

FANDOM SHIP/MY THOUGHTS: My feelings on Stein/Papa are expressed above. There's like no fandom for Soul Eater, but what I've seen of fanart works okay for me?

ON PAPA AND SHIPPING: Like most of my characters, Papa is likely to sabotage any relationship he gets into. Unlike the rest of my characters, Papa and sex is uh. A-OK with him!!

[derogatory]

thats crazy, hes the only one of your dudes that is gonna do it fkjs god, also we don't have proof Stein killed that guy!!!! I blame Chrona.

[tokencommoner]

I AM ONLY LIKE THIRTY WORDS INTO Ouran High School Host Club Episode 26: Buongiorno Hosutobu - Stop a Mafia Wedding With My Dying Will?? AND I WILL NEVER SHIP ANYTHING ELSE EVER AGAIN

LITHUANIA

[heartbeats]

STABLE SHIP: Totally Lithuania/Poland. They are old friends, they are able to put up with each other, and even though they've been separated and have had hard times and have gone through things that the other won't be able to understand and even though Lithuania thinks it would be nice if Poland took things a little more seriously and even though sometimes (all the time) Poland drives Lithuania crazy Lithuania will still risk getting caught by Russia to call Poland and warn him that he's about to be invaded again. sdkljfk I feel like this is a really obvious ship but I kind of adore it anyway. THEY'RE BFFL I CAN'T HELP IT

SMUT SHIP: Russia/Lithuania. This is obviously not stable (AHAHA the Red square comic oh Russia), but it is probably the most stable ship Russia has... I feel like really Lithuania and Russia would both almost sort of like this to be a normal relationship, but of course it will never happen that way because Russia is wrong in the head. So you have those situations where everything is going well and then all of a sudden it all goes to shit. Still, dub-con. Also, Lithuania being the type of personality that gives and gives and Russia being the type that takes and takes. Um also USA/Lithuania a little bit. Not because it makes sense, just because it makes Russia crazy.

FANDOM SHIP/MY THOUGHTS: I generally agree with Hetalia fandom on its pairings; the popular ones for Lithuania are probably Russia and Poland, both of which I've covered up there.

ON LITHUANIA AND SHIPPING: Shipping is my favorite part of Hetalia. Lithuania is less easy to ship for me than like... Japan, who I ship with everyone, but it's pretty easy anyway.

[molt]

ljfj s-suzumiya haruhi?

[themelancholyof]

STABLE SHIP: Kind of counter to Haruhi's basic nature, I feel like Haruhi/Kyon is a really, really stable ship. Like, granted, when it isn't stable it results in like... the world ending, but like. I just really love this ship, okay, possibly more than most of the other ships I've gone into in this meme, but it's a kind of understated ship so it's not as easy to talk about. Um, I think it's more obvious in the book than in the show, but it's present as a theme in both - Kyon and Haruhi are really different, and a lot of the time he ends up stuck as her straight man, but in a lot of ways they are really, really similar, and that's why I think they'll stick together. In the book the whole introduction is about how much he wanted aliens and mysterious transfer students and stuff when he was a kid, but then how he did away with all of that and grew up, and then there's a whole page on which the only thing that's written is "I met Suzumiya Haruhi." Haruhi is sort of representative of all of the magic and adventure in the world that Kyon feels too old and sensible for but still desperately wishes for, and Kyon is capable of keeping her in check, bringing her back down to earth, and reminding her that we live in the present. Haruhi gives Kyon adventure, Kyon keeps Haruhi human.

SMUT PAIRING: Uhhhh?

FANDOM SHIP/MY THOUGHTS: ??

ON HARUHI AND SHIPPING: I basically only ship her with Kyon :(

[exbentley]

evan!

[heartbeats]

STABLE SHIPS: Sob Evan doesn't really have many stable ships, I wonder why!! I guess you could say that his friendships with Dolohov and kind-of Snape are the closest things he has to stable relationships, but neither of those relationships really fit into this question, so...

SMUT SHIPS: This, however, Evan has in spades. Yaxley's wife ended up being his main squeeze, but I am pretty sure it's strictly because Yaxley was Dolohov's best friend, which sounds pretty fucked up and I guess in a way it was, but it just kind of worked out - I mean, Rosier spent most of his time hanging out with Dolohov, and so when Dolohov and Yaxley were out together that meant that Yaxley's wife was free. PS. Yaxley's wife's PB was Amanda Seyfried in my head; I always pictured her like Lilly Kane from Veronica Mars, just this really young well-bred girl with this like latent wicked streak who ended up married and just wanted to misbehave. Bonus: same coloring as Narcissa Malfoy. I don't think he actually loved her or anything but I think he really liked sleeping with her, I think she was vaguely freaky. Other major sexual ship is his younger sister Nicole, which is actually even MORE fucked up. Nicole is in my head this like really sweet-natured girl, and like she acts dumb as a post but really she retains information like a sponge and only acts that way because she knows that pureblooded boys like her better that way. Nicole didn't start out as slutty as she became, but somehow it became Evan's fault - he's auctioning her off, he doesn't care if she sleeps with the quidditch team, etc. Later it was implied that they were involved in an incestuous relationship, and I frankly wouldn't put it past Evan. The problem is that Evan views her as being different from other girls - both siblings feel a degree of possessiveness for the other, which means that Nicole has a complex where she is constantly comparing the boys she sleeps with to Evan, while Evan doesn't care who Nicole sleeps with - as long as he keeps basic control over her. God I guess that his main like SHIP ship would have been with the Black sisters - his like dream was to have a menage-a-quatre with them, and I'm really sad he didn't manage it. I'd like to say that Narcissa would have been a stable relationship, because he kind of had her on a pedestal compared to the other women he talked about, but that was only because he hadn't slept with her - if he'd ever managed he would probably have just like. Been really infatuated for a long weekend and then never paid her any more attention? For Evan it is the impossible dream that he's attracted to (although he does like blondes). Alecto was kind of like a non-issue; he wasn't going to go for it until Antonin was done with her, and then he'd maybe score her on the rebound once or twice? I have a hard time with this question because so much of the cast of seventynine was male and Evan is possibly my most heterosexual character, sob. He just has no interest in sex with men.

FANDOM SHIP/MY THOUGHTS: Uhhh if you can tell me something that the fandom shipped, I can tell you my thoughts.

ON EVAN AND SHIPPING: For possibly my most oversexed character, it is really, really hard to successfully ship Evan with anyone, because women basically are nothing but conquests to him. Men, too; I said earlier that Evan has no interest in sex with men, but I'm not sure he'd really care if he was stoned enough - just as long as he doesn't have to do gay stuff he is pretty much okay. WTF I can't believe I wrote this.

[exbentley]

near!!

[morelier]

Who would want to read this?

[heartbeats]

kdjkf I know right!!

[heartbeats]

STABLE SHIP: The most stable ship Near probably had was with Mello, and it was only stable by virtue or the mutual push-pull thing they've got going on. Unfortunately, Mello is dead (but then, the whole cast is kind of dead...). Near is hard to ship in general because I have like... a mental block about him and sex, but there's enough rival in his relationship with Mello that I can see where it would come from, how it would work (Mello finds the only thing he's better than Near at!!), and I can dig it when it's written well.

SMUT SHIPS: Near doesn't have any that are good for the sake of smut, because Near isn't one of those characters who works well with pure smut. It doesn't make sense; there has to be a reason behind it.

FANDOM SHIP/MY THOUGHTS: Fandom writes Near incredibly badly a lot of the time, so I can't really say I agree with any of the portrayals; Near/L is written some, but apparently they never actually met, even at Whammy House (TRAGEDY, I SAY). I actually have a small fondness for Matt/Near, even though it makes NO SENSE and I generally am not a huge fan of Matt, I feel like nine times out of ten he's an author self-insert. Most Near/Mello is incredibly poorly written :( Don't get me started on Light/Near.

ON NEAR AND SHIPPING: In general, like I said, I don't believe in it; Near is just not that sexual of a character. The only character I could buy it with is Mello, who Near clearly does feel anything about and might therefore elicit some emotions that aren't just like... oh.